My brother is an atheist. A Sam Harris-loving, Christ-denying, honest-to-God atheist. We don’t agree on much when it comes to God or religion. (No, really Laura?) But he is my brother so naturally, when I was bored of writing about feminism (for now), I asked him what I should blog about next.
(To be clear, this is the guy whose advice on how to improve Catholic Cravings was: “be less Catholic”. But his friends said I should use more gifs too. The gifs are for you guys!!)
But ask away I did, and you know what he said this time? You should blog about why Christians aren’t crazy enough.
You should blog about why they should be crazier.
Crazier? Really, crazier? Like more crazy?
Because here’s the thing, I already thought we were pretty weird and crazy.
I asked him to explain.
Well, he said, (and I’m paraphrasing here because I don’t wire tap the car when I’m chatting to my little brother), if you really believed what you say you believe, you’d be actually bonkers.
If you actually believed that God is real (which He’s not, he clarified) and that my life – and everyone’s life – depended on belief in Him, then shouldn’t you do anything to make sure we all believed?
You wouldn’t have a job or stuff like, or be concerned about all this “earthly” stuff, you’d just be evangelising all the time.
Whether people wanted to hear it or not.
Wouldn’t that be pretty annoying? I asked.
Um yeah, was the emphatic response. You’d be (and I quote) “a f***ing annoying lunatic.”
But what else could you do?
He said that Christians believe the vast majority of their lives – an almost infinite majority – will be in heaven. So why would you even bother about what happens here and now? You’d be all about heaven and making sure everyone’s there.
“I mean, you have a whole bunch of people with two possible destinations. One’s heaven and one’s hell and flames and all that.
And you have one job – to get as many people as possible into column A.” (A, being heaven, I assumed.)
But Christians, he continued, are so normal. Religion is just so “earthly” and “convenient”. You’re supposed to be living by these invisible, hidden heavenly rules – but you’re so normal. You should all be crazier.
Christians aren’t crazy enough.
Hmm, said I.
And you should blog about that, he said.
And you should blog about how your atheist brother said you should blog about it.
It’ll be like…
(Ok, the inception bit was my idea just then.)
But yeah, I thought… why not?
And I won’t add any commentary. That would just confuse it and make it about all the reasons I’m not crazy enough. (Like, what about loving people where they’re at? What about speaking with gentleness and respect? What about care for creation? And sanctifying the world in our ordinariness? NO, Laura, NO. This is not the time and place.)
It will be just what you said, I told him… An abbreviated, creatively enhanced, gif-adorned version of what you said. And I’ll call it like, “Christians Aren’t Crazy Enough, Says Atheist.” He admitted that even he’d click on that… even though it had no pics of kittens.
So thanks bro for writing my next blog post. We make a great team. (*older sister starts tearing up at sibling love*)
And in thanks, here, have a kitten…
[And yes, this conversation
actually roughly happened. I couldn’t make this brilliance up even if I wanted to. This stuff is GOLD.]