You might think that the only step to wearing a mantilla to Mass is, you know, wearing it. (And getting one if you don’t have one.)
Bah! Codswallop! Humbug!
Such ignorance! But don’t worry, that’s why I’m here.
I’ve broken down this incredibly complex process into 50 simple steps. I can’t promise you success, but if you follow my 50 steps, you will succeed!
- Think about wearing a veil or mantilla.
- A lot.
- Don’t let anyone because that would be weird.
- Find you can’t get it out of your mind.
- Pray about it.
- Mention it your family or friends, all hypothetically of course!
- Bring it up again.
- Be surprised that they aren’t fazed by it — some are even enthusiastic! (Weirdos…)
- Decide it can’t hurt to check out some veils from The Catholic Company, Veils by Lily, Liturgical Time Veil Shop, Designs by Birgit, Silver Tree Treasures, or Peter’s Bride or even Amazon which has some lovely Spanish style mantillas!
- Find that the desire to veil isn’t leaving, and doesn’t seem likely to do so anytime soon.
- Pray about it more.
- Go back to those stores.
- Pull out your best friend, the credit card.
- Pick a veil length: long, medium or short.
- Pick a veil colour: white, black, ivory, purple, gold, or hot pink polka dots on lime green.
- Agonise over whether to choose French lace or Spanish lace (this is easily the hardest part.)
- Order it.
- Immediately regret your decision and think you’re an idiot.
- Get the package in the mail!
- Try the veil on in the mirror!
- Squeal more!!
- Upload a pic to Facebook…
- Wait excitedly for the next time you go to Mass.
- Find you can’t wait.
- Go to Adoration with your veil.
- Pray about it.
- Feel a bit bad that you might have gone to Adoration just to wear your veil.
- Remind yourself that Jesus was glad to see you anyway.
- Take your veil to Mass on Sunday.
- Take deep, steadying breaths as you put it on your head.
- Secure with pins or clips.
- Or hazard it not falling off. (Some do, some don’t.)
- Walk nervously into church.
- Genuflect, and kneel to pray.
- Feel very self-conscious.
- Tug on your mantilla to make sure it’s secure but pretend to do it surreptitious. (WHAT IF SOMEONE SEES???)
- Look around to see if people are totally judging you.
- Be surprised that they’re not.
- Get a bit disappointed that it’s not even making a stir.
- I mean, you’re the only one! Doesn’t that deserve at least some whispered censures?
- Almost by accident, glance up at Our Lord on the Crucifix.
- Try to suppress your smile.
- Remember that’s why you’re doing this: for Him.
- Thank God for the joy of wearing your veil.
- Pray that it will only help you to love Him better.
- And realise He’s already answering your prayers.
Fool-proof, right? ;)
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