It’s an interesting time to be Catholic on the Internet right now.
On the one hand, we defend the integrity and dignity of marriage between one man and one woman so we are Very Bad Bigots. On the other hand, Pope Francis is super cool and non-judgy except when he’s calling our sins a pile of filth which is actually super cool because Pope Francis. (Makes sense, right?)
But I’ve discovered something that could tip the balance in our favour.
We have cats.
You knew Catholics were a bit obsessed with cats right? (Except for Dominicans, they’re more dog people.)
The good news is that Colin did not misread the sign. Cats are always here.
It turns out that cats are actually in the bible. I never knew this is as a Protestant but that’s because cats are only to be found in the book of Baruch, specifically in the sixth chapter which is called the Letter of Jeremiah.
It was Boze Herrington who first altered me to this vitally important factoid.
— Boze Herrington (@SketchesbyBoze) July 12, 2015
Baruch is one of the deuterocanonical books that Catholics and Orthodox Christians accept but Protestants don’t. (The sixth chapter of Baruch or Letter of Jeremiah actually forms a separate book in the Orthodox canon.) This sixth chapter of Baruch is written to the Jews in the Babylonian exile as a heavy warning against idolatry.
It is an uncompromising and quite hilarious attack on idols.
These idols, the author explains, are useless. They can’t “save a man from death or rescue the weak from the strong… they cannot take pity on a widow or do good to an orphan.” (Baruch 6:36-39) Instead of governing the created world, they are part of that world:
They do not notice when their faces have been blackened by the smoke of the temple. Bats, swallows, and birds light on their bodies and heads; and so do cats. From this you will know that they are not gods; so do not fear them. (Baruch 6:20-23)
That’s where the cats come in.
Walking all over dem idols like they own the place. That’s such a cat thing to do. I like that about cats. They’re too cool for us all. They don’t give a damn about your precious idols.
If I were more creative, I could probably make some of kind point about the nonchalance of cats and compare it to our own never-ending spirals of anxiety, pride, greed and idol-worshipping. I would tell us to imitate cats by treating the things of the world with the healthy contempt they deserve. (Cats are very contemptuous creatures.)
But I can’t tell you all that because I got distracted by said cats.
How could I not??
So God bless cats.
They’re in the bible where they belong, walking all over idols.
That is all.