One of the perks of sainthood, along with eternal happiness with the God of Infinite Beauty and Goodness of course, is learning what God wants you to be patron saint of. Grace at Even the Wilderness has a brilliant list of things she could totally be patron saint of. I knew as soon as I saw it that I had to be a part of that. Besides, this will come in handy for the Congregatio de Causis Sanctorum, right? ;)
So here’s my list:
+ Aspiring countesses, obviously.
+ Those who repeatedly boil the kettle because they think to themselves, “oh I need a cuppa right now” and then totally get distracted by Pinterest, until a pin of someone drinking tea (#nofilter!) reminded them they did want that cup of tea. Boil. Leave. Repeat.
+ Feminists in mantillas.
+ People who have to edit out exclamation marks from emails so they seem chirpy rather than certifiably bonkers.
+ The Vatican Women’s Cricket Team (it will happen one day, just you wait and see.)
+ Young women who still believe in true love even though they’re as single as Elsa in her rebellious ice-palace-phase.
+ People who always pronounce subtle “sub-tle” and often “oft-en” in their head.
+ Collectors of royal commemorative mugs and assorted chinaware.
+ The small Croatian town of Šumanovci, population 139. (Why? Why not, I say? Wouldn’t you want to be the patron saint of tiny Eastern European hamlet?)
+ Catholic listicles of dubious quality.
+ Those who are in danger of exchanging the treasures of heaven à la Esau for a decadent slice of mud cake with chocolate twirls on top, hmm, and some lemon sorbet to balance it out and a just a little cream and caramel profiterole tower, maybe? Hmm, chocolate…
+ Left-wing conservatives.
+ The 1995 BBC Pride & Prejudice Miniseries.
+ Lost things that need to stay lost. Sure, you have St Anthony to help you find things but what if you don’t want to find those directions to your Aunt Tabitha’s Silent Poetry and Quail-Hunting Group? That’s where I come in, brethren. ;)
+ Finally, anyone who’s ever thought, “well, that isn’t historically accurate. Clearly, Beauty and the Beast is RUINED.”
So how about you? What would you be patron saint of?